breast cancer, life, Uncategorized

When the going gets tough…

The saying goes “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I don’t feel very tough. In fact, I feel pretty defeated right now. I still haven’t been able to completely shake the blues. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were wonderful. Bittersweet, but wonderful. We spent time with A’s family and with my family. Our kids were excited for their gifts. I bought A some Star Wars Legos he wanted, and A bought me some coloring books and some stuff from Lush. Silly it may sound, but I was super excited and happy for the coloring books. One is called The Calm Coloring Book, and it really is soothing. It’s nice to lose myself in the pictures and colors.

On Saturday, we decided to go see Star Wars again and had tickets for the evening showing at a local theater. Right before we left, our area of Dallas was put under a tornado warning. Then, another tornado warning. And another. We checked the radar and really, for those first few warnings, the storm was bad, but not that close to us. The second storm, though, was bad and was close by, and it hit a good thirty minutes after we arrived at the theater.

A’s parents had our kids at their house, and I’m thankful for that because my town is one of the towns in northern Texas hit by a large tornado last night. We were lucky. Our neighborhood was not hit by the storm. We have no damage, but drive one mile up the road, and neighborhoods are leveled. Parts of my town are gone. I’ve lived in this town my entire life, save my four years of college.┬áThe damage is horrible. People lost everything but their lives.

In times of devastation and destruction, there are moments of good…moments where the tough get going. My town has had many of those moments over the last twenty four hours.

I need to get going. I need to find my tough. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. In the great scheme of things lately, I’m lucky. Yeah, I have breast cancer, and it’s aggressive and it sucks, but I have a good medical team. I have to trust them. I have an amazing husband who loves me. I have two awesome and crazy children. I have parents who would do just about anything for me. I have in laws who treat me like a daughter and a sister, not a daughter-in-law and sister-in-law. I have friends who are there through thick and thin. I need to stop wallowing. I need to stop the pity party I’ve found myself stuck in for nearly two weeks. I need to just stop.