breast cancer, life, Uncategorized

Pretending

sometimes all you can do

I’m tired…

of Republicans trying to kill me through healthcare bills that are nothing more than deathcare bills

of feeling like my concerns don’t matter

of cancer

of worrying the cancer is back

of wondering what I did wrong

of wondering if I’ll see my kids grow up

of not being good enough

of being told “it’s going to be ok” when you don’t know that

of not sleeping

of letting myself down every morning by sleeping through my alarm instead of getting up early and going for a walk

of crying from exhaustion

of feeling I don’t matter

of being my own worst enemy

I’m spent.

I’m a wreck wearing a mask, dreading my next check up, terrified of seeing Dr. O because what if the cancer is back even though I don’t feel any different than I did 12 weeks ago? What if the scans show it’s back? What will I do?

I’m tired.

I’m spent.

I’m a wreck.

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