breast cancer, family, kids, life, Uncategorized

Quiet

imageI’ve been quiet lately. There’s nothing wrong. We’ve had so much to do, and I had several appointments over the last week. It’s been easier to be quiet. But, it’s also been about living life.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks with my children. We’ve gone to the waterpark. We’ve gone to the rebuilt community park. We’ve explored and played Pokemon Go. We’ve gone to the movies. We’ve gone to the mall. I’ve tried to cram a good chunk of their summer vacation activities into the last few weeks because I have a training I have to go to all of next week. Then, the following week, I’m having the DIEP flap reconstruction. So, their summer activities pretty much come to a screeching halt beginning Monday. I feel bad about it. There’s been so much upheaval in their lives over the last eleven months, and the majority of it is my fault.

It’s hard not to blame myself.

Maybe that’s why I’ve spent a lot of time being quiet lately. I try my best to enjoy my time with them even when I do not want to do what they want to do. It’s 100+ degrees outside here in Texas. I do not want to go outside unless we’re heading to the waterpark, but AJ wants to go Pokemon hunting, so outside we go, armed with my phone, water bottles, sunscreen, and hats. S wants to go to the community park. It has a zip line, slides, swings, a ground level trampoline, and other park attractions. She’s our thrill seeker, so sure, we can go to the park. I’ve tried very hard to say yes to their every request as far as going to do something lately. I don’t want them to remember this as the summer where mom had to have surgery (again), so they couldn’t do much. I want them to remember this as a summer like anyone before it.

Breast cancer has interrupted our lives enough over the last eleven months. It doesn’t get to steal my kids’ summer.

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