breast cancer, family, life, teaching, Uncategorized

Normalish

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From sommeecards. No infringement intended.

I’m going back to work tomorrow. I’m probably one of a very few teachers who’s excited to go back to work tomorrow since most of us have been on Spring Break. I’m excited to see my coworkers and my students. I’m excited to have some normal again.

Well…normal-ish, that is. I have radiation every day until mid April. That’s not normal. But, at least there’s a definite end to it. I still have a billion doctor’s appointments and tests. At least there’s some distraction with work, though.

I was griping about something yesterday to A, and as I walked out of the room, I heard him mutter, “I’ll be so glad when you go back to work and have something else to focus on.”

Me too, A…me too.

I packed my new backpack with a little bit of glee this afternoon. I can’t carry my old school bag…too much to lift. So, I put my birthday present from my in-laws to good use and bought a pretty, functional, awesome backpack that can be worn or can roll. It can hold all my school papers (not exaggerating…it’s holding close to 400 essays right now (my AP kids did a mock AP test while I was gone. Three required essays per kid. I have about 140 kids)), my laptop, my iPad, my pen/pencil/drives pouch, and some random other stuff. It’s ready to go for tomorrow. My mom bought me a coffee maker for my birthday, and it’s going to school tomorrow. I sent a Remind to my students that we’ll have a coffee maker now and they’re welcome to use it. I’m not sure who’s more excited…me or them.

I replaced Coke and Dr. Pepper with water and coffee. The coffee addiction is strong, and I’ve decided I’m allowed one vice I’m not going to feel guilt about, and coffee is that vice.

Tomorrow also marks the morning where I try my damnedest to start a new exercise routine. I’m going to do my best to get up by 5:30 and walk my neighborhood. The outer perimeter of my neighborhood is 1 mile. It’s my goal to walk it at least once every morning now. Dr. O impressed upon me again how important it is that I get down to a normal weight, and while she’s thrilled I’ve lost as much weight as I have, I need to lose at least 25 more pounds. I’d like to lose 30 of 40. But, I’m going to be realistic. 25 lbs is realistic. Hell, a year ago, I didn’t think I could lose 10 lbs without some serious effort. It doesn’t take serious effort. It just takes commitment and determination. Neither of which I have! LOL! Here’s the thing: I like sleep. I’m a 5 more minutes person. But, come tomorrow, I’m going to really try and haul my tired tail out of bed, put on a tshirt and yoga pants, my Asics, and walk. 1 mile. That’s the goal. Maybe 2 if I can handle it. My stamina still isn’t quite where it was before surgery. I tried walking a mile with AJ about a week ago, but I could only handle a half mile. I felt like a wuss.

I want my life back. I want me back.

So, I’m going to try. I’m going to walk. If I don’t walk in the morning, I will, for sure, walk when I get S home from musical practice. Look at that…I’m already making excuses for myself. UGHHHH!

Not only do I get to go back to work tomorrow, but I also go back to a lot of my mom responsibilities I’ve had to pass to my mom or mother in law for the last month and a half. I get to take S to dance classes tomorrow and Tuesday after fighting traffic to pick her up from musical rehearsal. It’s been over two months since I could take her to dance and sit and watch her as they rehearse for the Spring Concert.

There are so many things happening tomorrow to restore a normal-ish routine again, and I’m excited. God, I’ve missed working and being around other people and being more than Cancer L.

It’s going to be nice to have some normal-ish.

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